My Dear Sweet Girls,

I miss you so much my breath catches in my lungs and a sharp pain moves across my chest. All my tears are for you. My heart aches.

My little buddies, all my favorite places were shared with you. Nature walks down to the pond, throwing sticks in the water, lantern walks on a crisp fall night, scavenger hunts for leaves and puppet shows with furry woodland friends. The cherry and the spoon, log houses and bike rides, water colors in the park.

Morning donuts with Lucy and Dixie begging for a bite. Barking and playing fetch. Your silly furry besties miss your presence – to run and play and laugh with their two favorite people – what a joy!

Your artwork, creativity, and finding your drawings on EVERY page of my sketchbooks, and word searches. Goofy girl, I found ALL the words you circled in pink! It made me giggle. You’re so smart!

I miss monopoly nights and painting, both things we could do for hours together.

My lovies; your talent exceeds ALL others. God has gifted you with MARVELOUS potential.

I miss making your favorite popcorn with the special seasoning and yummy cups of hot chocolate with peppermint! I am now fully stocked with peppermint tea, I’ll save it for you.

Sweetie, if you ever see yourself in that video making your very first soccer goal – please remember that’s me holding the camera and CHEERING YOU ON! God allowed me that very special ‘first’ and the Spirit TOLD me it would happen, even as we drove to the game- I was ready and you DID IT GIRL! I caught a piece of history in that precious moment in time, which to me, is priceless.

I love EVERY soccer game, school concert, annual Valentine’s day party and EVERY girls day we shared! I cherish them all. Painting piggy banks and a coffee mug!

I love you with all my heart and when I weep – I weep for you, and the time we are missing together.

Girls, I would move heaven and earth for you. Protect and love you. This wasn’t what I wanted, and if I had a choice, I wouldn’t have changed a thing, and I would be your Ms. Sadie forever. It’s not your fault and you did nothing wrong.

I want you to know I am here for you, whenever you need me – and so I send out this deep prayer of grief and hope of my support and love for you. I value you, and I hope someday, no matter what happens, I can be here for you again.

You are growing into beautiful women – you are clothed in strength and dignity.

I pray for you every day and night. On my way to work and when my head hits the pillow at night – you are my last thought as I whisper and weep ‘goodnight’.

I love you forever.

Your Ms. Sadie