My Dear Sister,

Survivors need to go thru several phases in order to heal. One thing I notice about my journey as I look back, was going through a two year period of consuming everything I could get my hands on. I read anything that was written about abuse, sexual addiction and trauma. I saved articles, bought books, scoured Facebook and kept a highlighter and sticky notes tucked into every book I was reading because the information was gold.

There is a reason we all go through this phase: VALIDATION. We NEED validation when we are coming to terms with our reality, we need to NAME the things that we are experiencing and we need REASSURANCE that we are NOT CRAZY! We need to see ourselves and our stories in the pages we touch.

When you are beginning to understand reality, and the blinders begin to fall from your eyes, a whole new world will open up to you. In these resources you will feel acknowledged and known and in return you will EQUIP yourself to make new change for your life!

You are the OWNER of your story and not the victim, we use this knowledge to create POWER!

I have divided these resources up by categories, all of these books I have touched, reviewed, read and even have participated in a couple proofreading teams, before the title was published! This is a collective of truth.

“Truth is strong and sometime or other, will prevail” – Mary Astell

Healing after Betrayal Trauma:

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, How to Cope and How to Heal, Marsha Means and Barbara Steffens

From Betrayal Trauma to Healing and Joy, Marsha Means

The Psychology of Porn, Andrew J. Bauman

Intimate Deception by Dr. Sheri Keffer

Healing the Wounded Heart and Workbook, Dr. Dan Allender

Living from the Heart that Jesus Gave You Dr. James Wilder

The Joyous Recovery, Lundy Bancroft

Should I Stay or Should I Go?, Lundy Bancroft

The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes Ph. D.

Transforming Fellowship, Chris M. Coursey

Outsmarting Yourself, Dr. Karl Lehman

Joy Starts Here, Dr. Jim Wilder

The Immanuel Approach for Emotional Healing and Life, Dr. Karl Lehman

Joyful Journey, Dr. Wilder and Anna Kang

Understanding the Wounded Heart, Marcus Warner

Every Moment Holy Vol. 1, Douglas Kaine McKelvey

The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk, M. D.

Suffering and the Heart of God, Diane Langberg

Bold Love, Dr. Dan Allender

Prayer Armor for Defense, Rebecca Davis

Daily Affirmations of Letting Go, Melody Beattie

Moving BEYOND Betrayal, Vicki Tidwell Palmer

Toxic Family Systems:

Toxic Parents, Susan Forward

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship, Leslie Vernick

Mothers Who Can’t Love, Susan Forward

Emotional Blackmail, Dr. Susan Forward

Internal Parts (IFS):

Inner Bonding, Margaret Paul

No Bad Parts, Richard C. Schwartz

Wholeheartedness, Chuck DeGroat

Parenting After Abuse:

Boundaries with Kids, Dr. Cloud and Townsend

Gist, by Dr.’s Timothy Johnson and Michael Anderson

The Whole Brain Child, Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD

Trauma Proofing Your Kids, Peter A. Levine Ph.D

Digital Natives, Roberts and Kolb


Boundaries. Dr. Cloud and Townsend

Boundaries in Marriage. Dr. Cloud and Townsend

Beyond Boundaries. Dr. John Townsend

Boundaries in Dating, Dr. Cloud and Townsend

Changes That Heal, Dr. Cloud and Townsend

Boundaries for Your Soul, Dr. Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller

Moving BEYOND Betrayal, Vicki Tidwell Palmer


Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud

Life Saving Divorce by Gretchen Baskerville


The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, Leslie Vernick

Is it Abuse?, Darby Strickland

The Heart of Domestic Abuse, Chris Moles

Is It Me? and workbook, Natalie Hoffman

Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft

Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft

How He Gets Into Her Head, Don Hennessy

Abuse and Patriarchy Within the Church:

Recovery from Spiritual Abuse: Stumbling Towards Wholeness, Andrew J. Bauman

Untwisting Scripture (all books in series), Rebecca Davis

Unholy Charade, Rebecca Davis and Jeff Crippen

When Narcissism Comes to Church, Chuck DeGroat

A Cry for Justice, Jeff Crippen

The Making of Biblical Womanhood, Beth Allison Barr


The Sexually Healthy Man, Andrew J. Bauman

Theology of the Womb, Christy Vidrine Bauman

The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Gregoire

Sexless in the City, Kat Harris


A Gift of Mourning Glories: Restoring Your Life After Loss by Georgia Schaffer

A Brave Lament, Andrew and Christy Bauman

Stumbling Towards Wholeness, Andrew Bauman

A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller

Every Moment Holy Vol. 2: Death, Grief and Hope, Douglas Kaine McKelvey

Turn My Mourning into Dancing, Henri Nouwen

Dating After Abuse:

No More Assholes, Chantal Heide

Comeback Queen, Chantal Heide

Fix that Shit, Chantal Heide

Boundaries In Dating, Dr. Henry Cloud and Townsend

Dating Radar, Bill Eddy LCSW, Megan Hunter

Emotional Intimacy, Robert Master, PH. D

To Be a Man, Robert Masters, PH. D

Learning YOU ARE the Beloved Woman:

The Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen

Here and Now: Living in the Spirit, Henri Nouwen

“Love Does”, Bob Goff

Stumbling Towards Wholeness, Andrew Bauma

To Bless the Space Between Us, John O’Donohue

Reading the Bible with Rabbi Jesus, Lois Tverberg

Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, Lois Tverberg

The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown

Try Softer, Aundi Kolber

Expanding our lens and perspective:

Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

Braiding Sweet Grass, Robin Wall Kimmerer

My Grandmother’s Hands by Ressma Menakem

The Courage to Teach, Palmer

Eternal Echos: On our Yearning to Belong, John O’Donohue